Sometimes you meet someone that will change your life completely. If you are prepared to step into the unknown and let them guide you, you might just find what you've been looking for.
A while ago I read my horoscope on FB and for some reason I decided to post it to my profile. In short it said that I should be prepared to meet someone that will change my life as I know it. My response was: Bring it on - I am ready. Little did I know, just how quickly it would come by and how profound this change would be.
It is hard to explain the how's, the where's, the why's and the who's... actually the "who's" aren't that difficult, because I know exactly who this person is. It can be a frightening thought, to think that a person like this, really can and want to be a part of my life. The frightening part is that I need to be take that journey into my "self" to find the real Marié. The Marié that has been trying to get out, but got booby trapped by herself and didn't think she deserved to come out and show just what she has to offer, to shine with the blinding light of a thousand stars.
People often say to me: You're such a nice person. What I think is: Yeah right, I am just not good enough, not nice enough, not worthy of being loved. If I did this and this better, then maybe I'd be OK. In fact, I have never thought of myself as being OK, just the way I am. I always thought, that if I was more outgoing I'd be OK, if I was thinner, I'd be OK, if my legs looked like Cindy Crawford's, then I'd be OK, if I had long wavy hair, I'd be OK... I can go on and on and would never get to a point where I can say: now I am OK. Why? Because I do / did not feel that I am OK.
This is the start of my journey - to find Marié, to accept that I am OK, exactly the way I am. I deserve to feel good in my own body and I deserve to have a healthy body. I deserve to love myself for who I am and for all that I have to give. I don't need a boyfriend/husband to be accepted, I have to accept myself for myself. It might not come easy, but I know I have the support of people who love me.
This journey also comes with a warning - I am getting rid of the negativity, the things and people who drain me. No matter how much I care for you or what your relation to me is, if your presence, your attitude, your words and your actions drain me, I will need to let you go.
You can take my hand and follow me, or you can stay where you are and see me walk away into the light.
Je t'aime.
